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Submitted on
September 24, 2007
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School Policy by jtobler School Policy by jtobler
I can't take full credit for this. Though the wording has changed to emphasize the hypocricy and/or unconstitutional~ness of the rules of my school, the credit for the hilarity of the social commentary REALLY goes to the administrators of Timpanogos High School. Heil Kendle

Look for plays on words. There's plenty.

"Offensive". Phf!

And I wasn't exaggerating (sp?); they have crap music blasting through the hallways every second of the day, even before and after school. Coach has declared it a classroom rule that the door be shut to drown out the odor of dying animals. I think they do it JUST to keep kids out of the hallways during class.

Oh, and I just thought of another one!

17. At least 40% of the students shall congregate and socialize at hallway intersections to ensure that minimum traffic efficiency is achieved.
18. You must attend an hour of "Attendance Restoration Class" after school for every minute you are late to class. To gain the right to attend, you must submit to the raping of your wallet.
19. During "ARC" you must sit and do nothing, ensuring that the time you missed in class is suficiently redeemed (is this one ironic or not? I can't tell.)
20. This school shall have no detention.
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shecklair Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2010
The Sad thing is...That almost is A school Policy Word for word....
SPARTAN-B292 Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2007 would suck to go to that school
jtobler Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2008
Only until Gradjucation day ;)
SPARTAN-B292 Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2008
that...or you can drop out =D
jtobler Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2008
Naw. That's for quitters. Better to just suck it up. It sucks now but it's better than struggling against forclosure notices until you're too old to work.
SPARTAN-B292 Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2008
yeah :P
jtobler Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2007
lambofgodd Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2007
Thank you for this! :D
stupidtheai Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2007
oh god, sounds like my school xDDD I'm not even kidding you. Imagine all but 35 kids out of 1000 being preps, and only 15 out of 1000 being anything but white, and thats my school. Completely serious. Now imagine said white preps blasting Soulja Boy and doing the dance. Thats their pastime at school before the bell...

new rules? xDD and yes, this happens at my school.
21) On second thought, keep the vending machines on. Instead of that god awful soda you buy for 75 cents, we want you to but those bottles of lemonade, because they are healthier, despite costing 50 cents more and having 50% more sugar.
22) You must sign 3 different things in order to get a drink right outside your classroom door: A hall pass, the hallpass in your agenda, and the teachers log book. Penaltys will ensue, even if one needs to puke, about to crap their pants, or in labor if one doesnt have said passes.
and lastly, the ever truthful rule I have found xDD
23) Even if they didnt work as hard as you, Student of the Month shall only be rewarded to physically fit children.
jtobler Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2007
....I like that song....
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