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School Policy by jtobler School Policy by jtobler
I can't take full credit for this. Though the wording has changed to emphasize the hypocricy and/or unconstitutional~ness of the rules of my school, the credit for the hilarity of the social commentary REALLY goes to the administrators of Timpanogos High School. Heil Kendle

Look for plays on words. There's plenty.

"Offensive". Phf!

And I wasn't exaggerating (sp?); they have crap music blasting through the hallways every second of the day, even before and after school. Coach has declared it a classroom rule that the door be shut to drown out the odor of dying animals. I think they do it JUST to keep kids out of the hallways during class.

*Edit*
Oh, and I just thought of another one!

17. At least 40% of the students shall congregate and socialize at hallway intersections to ensure that minimum traffic efficiency is achieved.
18. You must attend an hour of "Attendance Restoration Class" after school for every minute you are late to class. To gain the right to attend, you must submit to the raping of your wallet.
19. During "ARC" you must sit and do nothing, ensuring that the time you missed in class is suficiently redeemed (is this one ironic or not? I can't tell.)
20. This school shall have no detention.
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:iconshecklair:
shecklair Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2010
The Sad thing is...That almost is A school Policy Word for word....
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:iconspartan-b292:
SPARTAN-B292 Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2007
lawl...it would suck to go to that school
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:iconjtobler:
jtobler Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2008
Only until Gradjucation day ;)
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:iconspartan-b292:
SPARTAN-B292 Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2008
that...or you can drop out =D
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:iconjtobler:
jtobler Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2008
Naw. That's for quitters. Better to just suck it up. It sucks now but it's better than struggling against forclosure notices until you're too old to work.
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:iconspartan-b292:
SPARTAN-B292 Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2008
yeah :P
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:iconjtobler:
jtobler Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2007
Yup!
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:iconlambofgodd:
lambofgodd Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2007
Thank you for this! :D
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:iconstupidtheai:
stupidtheai Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2007
oh god, sounds like my school xDDD I'm not even kidding you. Imagine all but 35 kids out of 1000 being preps, and only 15 out of 1000 being anything but white, and thats my school. Completely serious. Now imagine said white preps blasting Soulja Boy and doing the dance. Thats their pastime at school before the bell...

new rules? xDD and yes, this happens at my school.
21) On second thought, keep the vending machines on. Instead of that god awful soda you buy for 75 cents, we want you to but those bottles of lemonade, because they are healthier, despite costing 50 cents more and having 50% more sugar.
22) You must sign 3 different things in order to get a drink right outside your classroom door: A hall pass, the hallpass in your agenda, and the teachers log book. Penaltys will ensue, even if one needs to puke, about to crap their pants, or in labor if one doesnt have said passes.
and lastly, the ever truthful rule I have found xDD
23) Even if they didnt work as hard as you, Student of the Month shall only be rewarded to physically fit children.
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:iconjtobler:
jtobler Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2007
....I like that song....
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:iconstupidtheai:
stupidtheai Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2007
xDDD I understand, it's just when people are making a fool of themselves dancing around in the morning, every morning, it get a bit annoying. Just like if someone was to blast metal constantly, or techno... or polka...
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:iconjtobler:
jtobler Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2007
That was !US! though. You have to realize that to segregate against somebody just because they're the majority doesn't mean it's not still segregation. Out here, for instance, yes, 90% of the population is white...and I don't just mean white, I mean capital W - H - I - T - E. That's not our fault. 90% of the population quotes Napolean Dynamite constantly. Deal with it.
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:iconstupidtheai:
stupidtheai Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2007
.___.; Hey, man, I'm sorry. I didnt mean to offend you by this statement. I hope that we can just let this go past.
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:iconjtobler:
jtobler Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2007
This is not an exchange of offense. This is a roughly intelectual discussion. Forgive my constant wish to indulge in such.
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:iconstupidtheai:
stupidtheai Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2007
*heart* Oh, it's ok. I love intellectual discussions. It just seemed as though you were hurt and offended by the comments, due to the tone implied. I really dont like to make people feel bad, see... xDDD so, uh, to bring up another point... um...

Sure, 90% Quote Napolean Dynamite, listen to Soulja Boy (god I cant believe I can spell it that way) and dress with a thousand and one chains hanging off their necks, not that goths should really be talkin either, all their chains are on their pants (I should know. I'm a part time goth >w< Can anyone say: Too poor to afford hot topic all the time?). But in all seriousness, 90% of people in the 80s sported Jerry curls, listened to hair metal, and moonwalked down school hallways. Nowadays, many people look back on that generation and laugh. But we forget that our fate will probably be the same, with our children laughing at our dances, our lingo, and our style that we think is so great now. Do we really want to be remembered as that sort of generation?

Disscuss? xDD
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:iconjtobler:
jtobler Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2007
I miss the eighties. I want them back. Back then you could dress gay and feel strait. I loved it!

And, yes, I feel a little gayer every time I go into hot topic. Next time I don't go in without a crusifix. *shudder*
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(1 Reply)
:icondarkjester-reala:
darkjester-reala Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2007   Filmographer
My gawd it sounds like my school >.>
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:iconkyavalentine:
KyaValentine Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2007  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow *suddenly has the sense that the small tri-county school was worth it*

I wouldn't want to have gone there. ^^;
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:iconjtobler:
jtobler Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2007
That's right. Go country when you can, sing country when you can't.
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:iconkyavalentine:
KyaValentine Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2007  Hobbyist General Artist
:XD: Born country, will always be country (now I'm going to slip into song and all the dogs in the neighborhood will start howling).
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:iconnekosammiesan:
NekoSammieSan Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2007  Hobbyist Artist
Jerk schools.
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:iconniagargoyle:
Niagargoyle Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2007
I am living proof that you can actually make money by pointing out these stupid behaviors. It's just too bad that nobody will really change the policy unless the public revolts.
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:iconjtobler:
jtobler Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2007
Or posts them on all the front doors on campus *wistles*
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:iconfem-rai:
Fem-Rai Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2007  Hobbyist General Artist

This is very "true" (obviously exaggerated, but when you look at it a certain way, it's how the school system tends to work). X'D; Loved reading it. :3
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:iconjtobler:
jtobler Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2007
Some of them aren't even exaggerated.
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:iconfem-rai:
Fem-Rai Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2007  Hobbyist General Artist

I noticed that much. It's...
Well, it's pretty sad how contradictory schools can be. Frusterating, but I guess we all have to just deal with it. xD;;
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:iconjtobler:
jtobler Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2007
Pretty much.
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:iconjtobler:
jtobler Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2007
1-6, 8, 10-12 (and thirteen, although there's no actual RULE), and fourteen are all quite litteral, and there is a great deal of truth remaining in those that aren't. I like living in a somewhat politically conservative environment, but traditionally conservativism meant the debunking of centralized power. These guys, although Conservative-minded, represent the centralization of power in the worst possible way. My high school, the political paradox.
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:iconjababell:
jababell Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2007
lol never mind it works now :D awwsome!
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:iconkurissyma:
Kurissyma Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2007
Lol!! Nice one!! Sounds pretty much like my school, I reckon! ^^

Rissle-chan
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:iconjababell:
jababell Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2007
hey looks interesting but when u try to put it into full veiw its not found :( cant read it in small just thout ide give u the heads up!
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:iconjtobler:
jtobler Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2007
Works fine for me. Must be your computer.
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:iconacedecade:
AceDecade Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2007
WIN! =D
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